Matthew 6:9-15
Introduction: This Lent we are looking at each part of the Lord’s Prayer. As a model for prayer and a summary of the entire Christian life – the Lord’s Prayer offers us a place to turn in an anxious and overwhelming time. At first, we might not think forgiveness is relevant to our current crisis but when we consider the impact of stress, anxiety, and fear on our relationship with God and others, we will quickly realize this part of the prayer is just as relevant and vital as all the others.
Four Things We Need to Know for Healthy Relationships – Especially in our time of COVID-19
1. We Sin
Since Jesus gave us this prayer to pray as a regular pattern, he is clearly assuming we will need it often. In order to have a healthy relationship with God, we need to know we will sin. Though we grow and mature by God’s grace, we will never outgrow the need for this prayer. In fact, the more we grow and mature as Christians, the more we will know how much we need this prayer. By choosing the word “debts” to describe our sin, Jesus is emphasizing that there is a real cost when we fail to give God the obedience and glory we owe Him. Just like financial debt doesn’t just disappear, relational debt doesn’t just go away - something must be done about it. The current crisis we are in both exposes and intensifies this reality. Our sins and God-substitutes are exposed. Our temptations are more intense. We will stumble and fall. We will sin. Something must be done about this to restore our communion with God. Thankfully, something has been done – which is why Jesus gave us this prayer.
2. God Forgives
If you find yourself struggling and sinning more in this time, hear this: Jesus did not give us this prayer to weigh us down or to beat ourselves up or spur us to earn our place back in good standing with God. The whole POINT of this prayer is not our sins but God’s forgiveness. God invites us and longs for us to experience the freedom and liberation of forgiveness – regularly, every time we need it. Like all the other parts of the Lord’s Prayer, this is a prayer that God says “Yes” to when offered in faith. Asking for forgiveness is deeply humbling because what we are asking for is for our debt to be wiped clean without any payment or contribution on our end. That’s what forgiveness is! This is humbling but also incredibly freeing. When God forgives sin, he removes our sin so far from us it is no longer and will never be a part of us. When God forgives sin, he “remembers it no more”; he never calls it to mind and will never bring it up again. That’s what forgiveness is! When we know God forgives our sin, we are humbled (and thus able to forgive others) and confident (and thus able to let go of our failures, guilt and shame).
3. Others Will Sin Against Us
In telling us to pray, “as we forgive our debtors”, Jesus is assuming something here too. Others will sin against us. It will happen regularly. Jesus is saying, “Expect it. Don’t be surprised when it happens.” Just knowing it will happen doesn’t make it any easier or more bearable when it does happen. There is a cost when we are wronged and hurt. There is real relational debt, and something must be done about it or our relationships will be strained and will break under the weight of this debt. In this trying time, I think it is fair to assume that we are all racking up relational debt in our relationships. Careless and harsh words have been spoken. Inconsiderate actions have been carried out. People we are close to have been aloof and withdrawn. Some have not gotten back to our texts and calls. There has been insensitivity, overworking, ignoring, escaping and many more failures to love.
What we cannot do is make others pay for their failures, bear the cost ourselves in bitterness and unforgiveness or settle for shallow forgiveness. We must forgive as we have been forgiven.
4. We Must Forgive
This is the only part of the Lord’s Prayer that comes with an “explanation” and a “footnote” – and both are SO challenging. Jesus clearly teaches that his followers must forgive others when they are wronged. But is forgiving others a condition for us being forgiven by God? It sounds that way, but that’s not what Jesus is saying. Forgiving others is a sign that we know we have been forgiven in Christ. Jesus doesn’t say pray, “Forgive us because we forgive others”, He says as we forgive others. In Jesus’ amazing wisdom, He is tying these two things together in such a way that we are always driven back to our own debt/forgiveness and always pushed out to forgive others in a continual “cycle of forgiveness”. The two are inseparable. Here are a few ways for us to think about this inseparability:
If you pray for forgiveness while withholding forgiveness, you reveal that you don’t know what you are asking God for. So, you cancel the prayer
If you harbor ill feelings against others, if you pay them back or write them off, then in this prayer you are really asking that God not forgive your sins
Whenever you really pray this prayer you forfeit the right to seek payback, hold a grudge or refuse forgiveness
If this still feels unresolved, we should understand that Jesus meant to for us to feel this tension. But here’s one more thought that may help - like all the “conditional” warnings in the Bible, the conditions should be taken at face value but they can only be met by those who know they have been forgiven and loved in Christ unconditionally.
Whatever the future holds for us all, our recovery and rebuilding will require much forgiveness. We will need forgiveness and we will need to forgive. May we learn to pray this prayer now so as to show the world the humbling and liberating truth, that “Jesus paid it all, all to him we owe.”
REFLECT OR DISCUSS
What about the message most impacted you or left you with questions? Which of the four things do you feel like you most need to remember/know at this time? Why?
Does it bother you or comfort you that Jesus clearly expected us to sin – no matter how much we grow and mature? In what ways has this crisis and all its challenges exposed or intensified your struggle with sin? How have you handled this (emotionally and practically)?
What does it mean to ask for forgiveness? Get as clear a definition as you can. What does it mean for God to forgive? Using the Bible, come up with as clear a definition as you can. What would it look like to know, really know, we are forgiven like this no matter what?
How is possible for God to forgive like this? What happened to the real debt we owe? What does it mean that God already says, “Yes” to this prayer because of the work of Christ? Then why do we need to pray it again and again?
How do you tend to handle it when others sin against you? How have you been handling it during this crisis?
CS Lewis said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you”. Read Matthew 18:21-25 and answer this question – How does understanding our forgiveness make it impossible for us not to forgive others?
Is Jesus making our being forgiven by God conditional on our forgiving others? How would you answer this?
Why will forgiveness be so important for us to make it through this crisis and for us to recover and rebuild when it is passed?
PRAY | Spend time yourself or with a group slowly praying “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. It’s important you pray this prayer honestly by yourself or alongside others with whom you feel safe. God wants us to know we are forgiven not just in general but for the specific sins we commit. It can be very healing for us to do this alone but can also be very healing for us to be reminded of our forgiveness (full, complete and finished) by another brother or sister.
Ask God to search your heart for any areas of unforgiveness. True and real forgiveness of others is impossible in our own strength. Ask for wisdom and grace to take any steps toward forgiving others.