Introduction: We have more access to information and knowledge than ever before, but we are still so confused, conflicted, and divided. What must we do? The book of Proverbs teaches us that wisdom is the missing piece of the puzzle, the lost treasure of our time. We must rediscover it, ourselves and as a church, if we are to stand firm in a world drowning in information but lacking in wisdom. This Fall, let’s come together to “get wisdom” and allow it to reorient our lives, our families, and our communities.
A Wise Person is a Listening Person: Have you ever tried to learn a new language? It is incredibly difficult because it is not something you can merely study or memorize. You have to immerse yourself and engage with real people who speak the language, which requires listening. In this way, learning wisdom is similar to learning a language. We cannot become truly wise without listening. Growing in wisdom requires us to humble ourselves and submit to God and others by being willing to learn their perspectives. This can be difficult, like learning a new language, because it requires us to re-evaluate our preconceived notions about wisdom and be willing to change our mindset.
Prov 1:5-7 - “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance— for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
The Proverbs confront our misconceptions about wisdom and how we can think about it from God’s perspective:
Our Misconceptions:
1. A wise person is already full of knowledge and understanding.
2. A wise person is self-sufficient and does not need to learn from others.
3. A wise person knows all the right answers about living well.
God’s Way:
1. A wise person listens to increase their knowledge and understanding.
2. A wise person is willing to learn from God and others.
3. A wise person knows that only God has all the right answers about living well.
1. What Listening Is
Listening is not merely about processing auditory sounds. It includes paying full attention to someone when they are in your presence. This is why people who are hard of hearing can still listen exceptionally well, or why we can tell when someone we are texting just isn’t listening. Listening is not about hearing as much as it is about the heart behind the hearing.
Prov 4:1-2 - “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.”
In this proverb, we see the importance of listening as it relates to learning and paying attention as a means to gaining understanding. The imagery is essential here because it depicts a loving father speaking to a younger son. The father desires that the son would recognize not only that he needs to listen but that he would desire to listen in order to acquire wisdom for the path of life. The context for listening involves giving full attention because it requires the engagement of the senses, the mind, and the heart to instruction.
Prov 18:13 - “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”
This proverb highlights the difference between passive and active listening and the importance for us to seek the latter. Every time we listen, we have the option to listen passively, only waiting for our opportunity to respond, or we can listen actively, which involves paying attention to another and welcoming their perspective. Henry Nouwen points out that “the beauty of listening is that those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking our words more seriously and discovering their true selves.
What does good active listening look like? Dr. Alan Godwin gives us some tips for how to listen well:
1. Ask Questions
2. Pause Before Speaking
3. Avoid Interrupting
4. Listen with your body language
5. Validate before responding
2. Why we Can’t Truly Listen
If you know anyone with a physical impediment, you know that no matter how much they want it to change, their bodies continue to act in the same way. Not only do our physical bodies have impediments, but our souls have them as well. As it turns out, all of us are born with a listening impediment that impacts our ability to listen to God and others. Before we consider the spiritual nature of our problem, let’s consider some of the symptoms. Dr. Henry Cloud has provided some helpful barriers that keep us from listening well:
1. “Me-first” mentality
2. Self-referencing when others share stories
3. Interrupting often
4. Negating before allowing them to elaborate
5. Devaluing, Minimizing, and Denying
The pattern in these barriers is apparent: our fallen nature causes us to filter everyone else out in favor of listening to ourselves. Rather unsurprisingly, our ability to listen is only an impediment to others, but never for ourselves. We love and cherish listening to ourselves, and many of these barriers highlight our attempt to magnify ourselves over others. This points us to our sinful nature (Rom 3:10-12).
It is tempting to think that God has not spoken, but perhaps the problem is with us? Though we cannot and do not listen, we have a God who is always speaking to us and desires our response. He speaks to us especially in his Word, and we find that it is powerful and life-giving. His voice is also always active in the world, moving the trees, bringing the sun and rain, and piercing our consciousness at various times. C.S. Lewis emphasizes a similar point in saying, “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” There are moments in life in which we must actively listen for God, and what we find is that he can heal our listening impediment and teach us how to listen to others.
3. God is the Greatest Listener
When we come to realize the patience and kindness God has acted toward us despite our inability to listen, then we will recognize how great of a listener he is. God has every right not to listen to us, but he chooses to. We can see this in the description of the Fall. When Adam and Eve sinned, God came to listen to their account. “Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Gen 3:9). God called them because he wanted to know them and he wanted to know them by listening to them. In the same way, God pursues us, listens to us, covers us with the blood of Christ, and beckons that we continue to share our full and honest hearts with Him. We might still be tempted to resist or hide from God because of our sin, but He desires to listen to us all the more.
Hebrews 3:13-15 - You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ.
Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.”
This warning is relevant to us because we are constantly tempted to harden our hearts to His voice that reminds us that we are free to come to Him. We might turn away from God thinking that he does not listen to us, or we might not want to listen to Him ourselves. One anchor we can always return to is prayer. Prayer is an ongoing listening relationship between God and us based upon what Christ has done for us. He listens to us as we present our requests to Him and seek to align our will with His. We listen to Him as he imparts his heart to us, his wisdom for how to live, and his consolation from our pains and struggles.
John 13:34-35 - So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
God listens to us in a way that cannot be contained. When we come before Him, he fills us up with himself so that we can listen to others as an extension of Himself to them. In our listening, we can help others see the love of God that he displays to us in listening. This is embedded in the commandment that Jesus gives us because loving well means that we listen well. And if we want the world to recognize the love that Jesus has for us, how can we do that without listening?
REFLECT OR DISCUSS
1. How would you describe the relationship between wisdom and listening? Can you think of a person who does this well?
2. What misconceptions have you seen or experienced lived in our culture about wisdom? How does the Bible challenge us to think differently about wisdom?
3. How would you describe the difference between active and passive listening? Is passive listening always bad? Why or why not?
4. Which one of Dr. Godwin’s tips for listening well stands out to you? What are some ways you can improve at listening?
5. How does our unwillingness or struggle to listen to others relate to our fallen nature?
6. Which one of Dr. Cloud’s barriers to listening stands out to you? Would someone close to you agree with your answer?
7. Consider the quote by C.S. Lewis: “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Does this expand or challenge the way you think about how God speaks to us?
8. Have you considered that God desires to listen to you even when you feel guilty or ashamed? What temptation(s) makes you think that he will not listen to you? How does the Gospel speak to us here?
9. You might have heard the popular mantra: “Prayer is just talking to God.” What do you think about this? How can prayer be a form of listening to God?
10. How can listening to others display the love of God? What are some things you can do to help you listen in a more loving way?
Click here for the full pdf version.
Click here to watch the sermon on YouTube.